For the First Time...

For the first time in probably 12 years, I am wearing my hair completely down. 

This may not seem like a big deal to anyone, but believe me, it's a big deal to me.  I have been battling something called Trichotillomania since I was 13 years old.  It's an obsessive compulsive disorder that causes people to pull out their hair at the root, most of the time without realizing their doing it. 

It sounds really scary and gross, but for me, it was mostly just embarrassing and frustrating.  For years, it's taken me longer to get ready than normal because taking a quick shower and leaving the house without drying and strategically styling my hair hasn't been an option.  I constantly worry about whether the short hairs that are growing back in are sticking out or whether my small patches of thin hair were showing.  I simultaneously love and hate swimming.  It's something I really enjoy, but I hate having my hair wet because it gets tougher and tougher to hide my problem hair.  I can only wear my hair in basically two styles.  If I was wearing a hat, that was my chosen look for the day and I wouldn't be taking the hat off unless I was semi-alone and in front of a mirror so I could quickly put my hair up into a ponytail.  I have an abundance of bobby-pins so I can control any pesky hairs that try to break free.  I can't wear my hair down in a headband, and I love headbands!  I had to give a lot of thought to this problem when I was choosing a hairstyle for my wedding, and I hate that.  It's FRUSTRATING.

Not very many people know that I've been dealing with this, so this is a strangely big confession for me.  I've always been and probably always will be really embarrassed by it. Going to get a haircut is on par with the nerves you'd feel going into a job interview or on a first date. I'm always so envious of people who can get a real haircut, who can do a real style, who can do whatever they want with their hair.  It complicates things so much when your hair is a million different lengths.

Luckily for me, and maybe unbelievably, my Trichotillomania was much more manageable than most.  I only pulled the hair from my head, and for whatever reason, my focus was always on the crown of my head.  That made it easier to hide.  Some people pull hair from all over their head, others cause complete bald spots that are sometimes permanent.  Other people pull their eyebrows and eyelashes out. 

It's also one of those terrible habits that is almost impossible to quit.  On more than one occasion, I've commented that trying to quit pulling would be like trying to quit breathing or blinking.  I would be doing it without noticing, but even if I did notice, I couldn't stop because it felt "good" or something.  I've tried EVERYTHING to quit.  I've played with stress balls while doing things that I thought I might pull during (watching tv, reading books, etc.).  I've worn gloves while just hanging out at home (that SUCKED and that attempt ended quickly).  I've made a million promises to myself, created a million deadlines; made a million New Year's resolutions.  I've tried sheer will power; I've worn hats.  I've even taken pills that my mom and I found on the internet.  I've done practically everything except hypnotism, and believe me, that was next on the list.

But for some amazing reason, this year I made a New Year's resolution that stuck.  It has been almost 4 months since I've pulled a single hair.  That is the longest I have ever gone without.  And I do not even feel like I need/want to pull.  It's not even a struggle.  I don't think I'll ever pull again.  I don't know what happened...what clicked in my mind that made me be able to give this up.  I just know I am so thankful and happy.  My hair is still different lengths, but now it's growing back in.  I can actually part my hair!  You wouldn't believe that something so small could bring such excitement, but I haven't had hair to part, and if I have it's been much too short to stay in place for any amount of time. 

Today, I went to a new salon for the very first time and met an adorable girl and introduced her to my troublesome hair.  Cue the nerves.  Her skill with the scissors combined with the fact that my hair is growing and filling in so amazingly lead to me leaving the salon completely and totally giddy.  I told Tyler it's the most confident I've ever felt leaving a hair salon.  And on top of that, my hair was totally down.  No clips, no bobby-pins, no ponytail holders.  Granted, she blow-dried it straight (and did a stellar job at that), but it's really blending so well!  You can hardly tell!  She said it looks like I just looked like a had a cool layered cut that gave me more volume in the back.  That may be a stretch, but I do know that I walked around in public with my hair completely down and uncovered.  I haven't done that in 12 years.

So, we'll see what it does when it's curly.  I'm sure I'm not totally out of the woods and I'll still be sporting my half-up/half-down look for at least a few more months.  But keeping the rest of my hair cut short will really help as far as how long it will take for the previously-pulled hair to catch up.  I can't wait for that day.

I'm sorry this is such a long post.  If you read all of this, know that it means a lot to me that you know what I've been through now.  So many people have such bigger struggles, so I'm sure I might sound silly or dramatic to some, but this has really been my own personal demon for so long.  And I'm glad I'm writing all of this down.  If I ever think I might slip and start pulling again, I'm sure it will really help me to read this and know that it can all be so different.

Awesome Things

First, there is a man who lives next to us in our apartment complex who is an AMAZING opera singer.  Like, it's got to be his profession.  He practices sometimes and we can hear it faintly through the walls.  He's so good!  Tyler mentioned tonight that he suspects that it might be a recording we're hearing.  I choose not to believe that, though.  For one thing, I've heard the man doing scales over and over, and no recording would have that.  Also, tonight (while I had my ear pressed to the wall in our office so I could hear better), I heard him stop singing and start whistling at one point.  He's totally real and totally awesome.

Second awesome thing:  Lately, I've been getting randomly murderously bored and to remedy that, I've been re-reading some old emails in my oldest email account inbox.  It's been HILARIOUS.  I have a bad memory and this has allowed me to get some good laughs and remember the drama I've survived.  But the awesome thing is this-- I found a photo I'd taken in high school that I thought I'd lost forever!!!!  I took a trip to Paris with my dad before college and while there I took a really awesome photo of the Eiffel Tower.  I'd loved that picture so much; it was the background on my desktop.  Then, my laptop crashed and I lost my Paris pictures forever.  I was sad about all of them, but mostly about that one photo that I was so proud of.  And tonight, I found it in an email I sent to a friend from high school!  She'd asked about my trip and I attached it to the message!  HOORAY!!!!

Oh, and here's the photo!

This Day is Full of FAIL

Ugh.  I'm such a bad blogger!!  I can't believe I let so long go by again.  When I'm old and gray and wonder what I did in April of 2010 (which, naturally, I won't remember because I have the worst memory known to man) there will all of these big gaping holes in my bloggy-diary.

Anyway, on to today's post.  As the title says, this day is full of fail.  I totally love my job, and let's remember that, but this workday might cut my life short.  TGIF.  Here's what's going on (or not going on, as it were):

1. I burnt my finger on the toaster.  Trying to retrieve a bagel.  Lame.

2. It's the most boring day ever.  There are technically 5 people in my department, including me, and today 3 of them are off.  Granted, there are other people in my office, so it's not awkward and lonely, but it is definitely SLOW and QUIET.  Hence me blogging while at work.

3. A wheelchair tried to kill me.  I had to help a coworker roll some new wheelchairs down to Guest Services (I do the most random things at work...) and on the way, one of them fell over and hit my left hand in a weird way that's making me pout.

4. I'm having trouble finding a magical solution to the problem entitled "Ashley & Tyler Want to Go to Montreal With Family, But Are Poor". 

5. I tried to do a Sudoku puzzle and a Crossword puzzle that I found and they were both too hard. 

6. Three of the ladies in the office and I ordered lunch from Jimmy John's at 12:15pm to be delivered to our office.  It's something we've done many times bc Jimmy John's is closeby.  This time though: FAIL.  The delivery man with our food got into a small car accident on the way here.  Someone had to come get the food from the bad driver and bring it to us.  Apparently, this transaction took a VERY long time, because our food was just delivered at 1:45pm.  We were all starving to death and two of the ladies had to stay late at the office (they normally leave at 1:15-1:30 on Fridays) just to get their food. 

7. I had to carry three heavy bags of mall directorys to the opposite end of the mall and they were hurting my hands and threatening to break the whole time.

8. Our office computers were made sometime very shortly after the Jurassic Period and are slower than molasses.  The server that we have to log into in order to do anything work related is even slower.  I'm trying to upload about 5,000+ photos from this past weekend's fashion shows, and it's going so slow I could probably draw an amateur sketch of each photo by hand before the files finally transferred.  It's. So. Slow. Today, that slowness came to a halt when the server crashed. 

9. I did a post to our website, but because of our computers' lovely lack of function or ease, it posted 4 times instead of just once and then proved nearly impossible to delete.  It's not user error.  I know how to do these things.  It's the fact that you can click something, the computer will sit still and appear to have no knowledge of the fact that you've requested any action, so you'll do it again like 7 minutes later and all of the sudden that triggers the computer to go into super-action mode and do what you've asked, only a million times.

10. The mall manager (aka the big boss) asked me to do him a favor and make a survey for all of the tenants to fill out.  He wants it to be "fancy", incorporate photos and words and boxes and blah blah blah.  Problems: I am not a graphic designer. I can't get Paint to open and/or function on my computer.  I don't really know what questions he wants included on the survey.  I'm limited to one page.  I can't get the fonts to function in a manner which will make selection easy for me.  Mall manager is at a seemingly-unending lunch meeting and I can't run anything by him.

Anyway, I think that's all I can come up with to complain about.  It's really not that terrible, I just think this day definitely has an air of FAIL about it.  Despite all of that, I'm still having a good day.  I got to blog!  It's almost the weekend! And, for some reason today I decided to dress cute, wear heels and straigthen my hair, which has garnered me some compliments.  Most of the compliments are because of my shoes, which I find AWESOME because they are from Payless.  Take that, you rich, Galleria-shopping, designer-label-wearing ladies! Muahaha!

Sorry It's Been a While!

I have been a very, very bad blogger.  It's been too long since my last post!  I'm failing miserably at posting every weekday, but I think that's okay.

Since my last post, I've had a SUPER crazy few days of work.  Simon Fashion Now, our big weekend of fashion shows and events, was last week and it was awesome.  It was my first one, but I have to say I think everything went really smoothly and successfully.  My only complaint is that my feet hurt so bad by the end of it all, just from the overwhelming amount of walking I was doing, that I could not imagine a reason strong enough to make me ever walk again.  Which could be why today (which I had off from work) I did not change out of my pajamas and I did not get off the couch.  My feet looooooove me for the time off, I can tell.

One Year Down, A Lifetime To Go

This past weekend, Tyler and I celebrated our one year wedding anniversary!  I cannot believe it has been a year already.  I love being married to my best friend and I can't wait for all of the years to come.

We went to New Orleans.  We arrived on Friday, late afternoon, and checked into our hotel on St. Charles Avenue.  It was a great location-- we valeted our car and left it there all weekend.  To get around we either walked or used the streetcar. 

On Friday, we walked down to the Mississippi River and explored the riverwalk area, Jackson Square and the French Quarter.  

We got some beers and oysters at the Crescent City Brewery and then walked around some more.

Eventually we made our way to Mother's Restaurant, a famous local favorite, known for their great poboys, baked ham and Bloody Marys.  We shared a huge roast beef poboy and I enjoyed a Bloody Mary.

It felt so strange to be allowed to take my unfinished drink with me out onto the streets of the city, but that's New Orleans for you!

Then we met some friends for dessert at a little place called Sucre, an emporium of "artisan" sweets owned by a chef who has won some Food Network Challenges.  It was awesome!  I got a little lime cake of deliciousness.

  The food was great and the company was better.  I got to catch up with a friend of mine from high school and meet her new husband and baby.  Their son is precious.

Spending time with Laura, George and Aidan reaffirms my belief that you can still be fun, social and cool after you have a baby.  Thanks for the visit, guys!

On Saturday, we woke up early and went to a fine establishment (read: shady, but recommended to us by the concierge at our fancy hotel) and had some breakfast.  Then we hoped on the streetcar and headed towards the Audobon Zoo!!!  We had the streetcar drop us off at the Audubon Park, which we walked through to get to the zoo.  Tyler was in a great mood and kept doing heel-clicks, which was hilarious.

Then we made it to the zoo!  I had been a zillion times as a kid, and despite the fact that it's definitely starting to show some wear and tear and did quite live up to my memories, it was still really fun.

The giant tree I remember climbing as a kid and the awesome Roman Candy (sort of like homemade, pulled taffy) were still there and as great as I recalled, so that was good.

That night, we got all fancied up and went out to a nice dinner at NOLA, one of Emril Lagasse's restaurants.  The food was GREAT.  Here's what we had (just to make everyone sufficiently jealous):  We started with a beer for Tyler and a watermelon martini for me, which tasted EXACTLY like a watermelon Jolly Rancher.  Then we moved on to some delicious and spicy concoction of shrimp, whole boiled crawfish, corn salsa and grilled bread followed by a salad of Baby Greens tossed in Raspberry Vinaigrette with Duck Confit, Fried Quail Egg, Spiced Walnuts and Goat Cheese. For dinner, Tyler had the Grilled Amber Jack with Risotto, Fennel Herb Salad, Toasted Almonds and Citrus-Herb Vinaigrette.  I had the Filet Mignon with Thyme Roasted Red Bliss Potatoes, House Cured Bacon, Maytag Blue Cheese, Toasted Walnuts, Port Wine-Veal Glacé and Shallot Crisps.  Then for dessert, we enjoyed the NOLA Crème Brûlée Trio which consisted of a
Vanilla Bean Crème Brûlée with Fresh Berries, a Coconut Crème Brûlée with a Coconut Truffle and a Mocha Crème Brûlée with Chocolate-Almond Biscotti (pictured below).

Also included in our dessert (at the bottom center in the photo) was a sampling of something they garnish another dessert with that I just had to try:  Brown Sugar Bacon.  All was delicious and devoured. 

On Sunday, we had beignets at Cafe du Monde.  If you've never had beignets...umm...I'm sorry for you.  They are little powdered sugar-covered gifts from heaven, best enjoyed with coffee or chocolate milk.  Enjoy the before and after pictures of our table below.

Then we decided to explore the always amazing Audobon Aquarium before hitting the road. I'm really glad we did.  Tyler loves fish so much and I love seeing him passionate and excited about something.  Plus, the fish are just really cool.  Here are some photos from the visit, including one of me in the tunnel that I have been unnaturally afraid of since I was a kid.

At the end of all of those adventures, we hit the road and headed home.  It was nice to get back to Houston, to our nice home together.  We were kind of random and lazy for the rest of the evening while the top layer of our wedding cake thawed.  Then it was time to try the year-old cake.  It was surprisingly delicious!!!

I was skeptical of a cake that had been in our freezer for a year and had made two moves in an ice chest.  But it was seriously so good!  I even took some with me to lunch with a friend today and shared in the greatness.

Overall, it was an AMAZING first anniversary.  I couldn't have asked for anything more.

On the Eve of a Great Weekend

Tomorrow, Tyler and I are leaving for New Orleans to spend the weekend celebrating our one year wedding anniversary!!!

I have a lot of stuff to do (finish laundry, pack, figure out how to pack and transport the top layer of our wedding cake, etc.), so naturally, I'm blogging.  Why not.

I am so excited for this weekend!  We are going to go to the zoo and walk around the French Quarter and go to eat at Emril Lagasse's restaurant NOLA.  I'm planning on taking approximately 1-squillion photos, and hopefully I'm right.

That being said, I know I've missed some blogging this week, but that's okay.  It's been a long and busy week at work.  But still so fun!  We had the blogger preview and since then everyone has been spending some quality time stressing out over what to wear to the Thursday runway show for Simon Fashion Now.  I can't believe that SFN is next weekend.  That was like "the big looming event in the future" that was talked about like a legend in my job interview, and now it's almost here!  Good news: I finally found an outfit!  It's a strapless dress with escalating horizontal ruffles, it's a light pink (like a ballet slipper) and it's pretty girly.  But, surprise, I'm pairing it with a wide black belt that has some small metal elements.  So it's like super girly meets biker chic.  Ha! It's also exactly what the store has on one of the mannequins: dress, belt, color, everything.  I'm original like that. I'm sure I'll be posting pictures from the event, so stay tuned!

Speaking of posting photos, I'm sure I'll do that after this weekend's adventures, so check back soon!